Hetalia meets the Ouran Host Club
by Mrs. Luigi Vargas
Summary: Exactly what it sounds like; the Host club stumbles upon a World meeting in progress. They end up becoming friends. Hilarity ensues, as you would expect. British-otaku is posting this too. I just edited my copy.
1. Chapter 1

-World Conference: Arctic Circle, Sometime in the day (why would we know?!)-

~Discussing random stuff about the London Olympics~

"I apologize in advance for any security issues we may have. We are working on fixing it now." England began.

* * *

The Ouran High School Host Club was **not **originally planning on taking a vacation in the Arctic. However, Tamaki wanted to see two things in the Arctic: the Northern Lights and penguins (A/N: there are no penguins in the Arctic).

Presently, Haruhi was running away from the host club, more specifically, Tamaki. The reason? "Haruhi, you _need_ to wear this Eskimo dress! You'd look so cute in it!"

"I don't wear dresses, and that dress is no exception!"

So Haruhi ran into a random building, and burst into a random room. Tamaki ran in after her yelling, "Haruhi!" loudly and annoyingly (A/N: like America!) and proceeded to death hug and twirl her around. The remaining host club members ran in after them and Mori pried Haruhi out of Tamaki's grip. Then Honey asked, "Are you okay, Haru-chan?" The host club then suddenly noticed the other group. Cue awkward silence. The two groups stared at each other.

* * *

Tamaki walked over to Liechtenstein and began flirting with the young girl, flourishing a rose he pulled out of nowhere. Switzerland, being the overprotective big brother that he is, aimed his gun at Tamaki's face, glaring. Tamaki just stood there, frozen and internally panicking. The twins had to drag Tamaki away from the scene. "Bloody hell, there's another France…"

"Yes, I'm half French," Tamaki replied to the voice, missing the point. France laughed.

"Ohonhonhonhon, maybe we can team up to spread love to-"

"Oh no you don't, you bloody frog!"

"You can't stop me, black sheep of Europe!"

"Why you-" Pretty soon the two were at each other's throats like usual. Meanwhile, Hikaru and Kaoru were scheming about how to prank their newest target, Italy.

"Hey, you!"

Italy looked up from his drawing (he knew he should have been taking notes on the meeting, but still…) to see the twins pointing at him. He looked up.

The identical twins smirked. "Want to play a game?"

Italy beamed. "Ve~, I like games! Yeah, let's play!"

"All right," the twins donned hats and posed identically. "Let's play the 'Which one is Hikaru game!'"

Italy watched the synchronized boys in wonder. "Ve~ how do I play?"

"You just have to guess…" one of them started,

"…which one of us is Hikaru!" the other finished.

"Oh, okay! Um…um... uh…" Italy started to panic, they looked so similar! "Um…uh…him!" He pointed to the one on the right.

"Uh oh, you got it wrong~!" the twins sing-songed. They laughed. "Try again!"

Italy, figuring out that they did not switch positions, beamed. "Oh, so it's you!" he exclaimed, pointing at the other twin.

"Uh oh, you got it wrong~!" the twins sang. They started to laugh hysterically at Italy.

"Wh-what?" Italy's eyes welled up with tears, which started to spill over onto his cheeks.

Across the room, Romano was busy warding off Spain's 'unwanted' affection. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed his fratello sobbing and the two twins laughing over him. He immediately got angry.

"What do you think you bastards are doing to my fratello!" he yelled running towards them.

Hikaru and Kaoru cocked their heads. "Fratello?"

But before they could ponder things further, Kaoru got a head-butt to the stomach, courtesy of Romano.

"Kaoru!" Hikaru cried, running over to his twin. (Please, notice that if you have never seen the 'Brotherly Love' they share, watch the show. It will all make sense. Somewhat.) Faces one inch apart from each other's, Hikaru over Kaoru, Kaoru's tears dripping from his face, Hikaru asked, "Kaoru! Are you ok!?"

Romano and Italy (who still had tears running down his face) watch the twins, confused, while listening to the random dramatic music that suddenly started playing. Romano's face soon settled into its usual scowl. "What the hell? Are you twin bastards homos or something?" Cue (rather loud) record scratch.

Haruhi walked by. "Yes."

Hikaru and Kaoru and Romano blinked. "Che," Romano commented. "Those twin bastards really are pathetic, aren't they?"

Hikaru yelled and tackled Romano, which started a 'small' scuffle. The fighters managed to not only punch and kick each other, but the managed to throw random objects, including the cups of water resting on the meeting table. As you may guess, not all of the projectiles hit their intended targets. Meaning, some hit other nations, which resulted in other fights. For example, an eraser would sail and hit Turkey on the side of his head, Turkey would think Greece threw it, Turkey yells at Greece, Greece yells at Turkey, Turkey yells back, the yelling match starts, they go for each other's throats, and Japan is left trying in vain to stop them from killing each other. The fact that England and France were fighting in almost the exact same way didn't help either.

While these events were taking place, Tamaki spots Ukraine-or rather, Ukraine's chest. He immediately begins flirting with her. Ukraine feels flattered yet uncomfortable, and it showed on her face.

Suddenly, the temperature of the room dropped at least ten degrees. Russia appeared behind Tamaki, creepy aura, pickax, faucet pipe, and all.

"You should stay away from my older sister, da?

Tamaki paled. "Ah…I'm sure that this is one big misunderstand-" he bolted, and unfortunately for him, Russia was right behind, weapons at the ready. Tamaki runs and hides behind Kyoya. "Help me!"

Kyoya simply walked to the other side of Germany and resumed their conversation about how stupid and idiotic some of their acquaintances and friends are (i.e. Tamaki and Italy). Tamaki kept running and he also sneezed once or twice (or ten times…).

Honey and Mori were chatting, or rather Honey was rambling and Mori was quietly listening, when Finland walked up to Honey "Hello, what's your name? Mine's….Tino!"

"HI I'M HONEY AND I LIKE CAKE DO YOU LIKE CAKE I HAVE CHOCOLATE AND STRAWBERRY AND VANILLA AND MORE CHOCOLATE AND CHOCOLATE WITH STRAWBERRIES ON TOP. Do you want some cake?"

Finland smiled. "I'll have the vanilla cake then."

As Finland and Honey bonded over cake, Sweden and Mori stood next to each other, watching their charges. Mori turned to Sweden. "Hi."

"Hi."

"…Hi," Mori replied.

"Hi!" Finland interjected.

As the quartet's discussion became longer, the fighting around them continued to intensify by the minute. Germany found it harder and harder to concentrate on his and Kyoya's conversation. Finally, the noise and chaos level reached an all-time high, and Germany couldn't take it anymore.

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" He yelled. Kyoya looked at Germany with an expression that clearly said "That was my** ear**." Germany's rant continued, getting louder by the second. Everyone stopped, surprised (including Russia, which allowed Tamaki to run away and hide). The rant went on for what seemed like hours.

"No accents," Mori suddenly commented. Cue another loud record scratch. Every country truly froze this time.

"Really? Well, let's elect someone to talk to see if all of the accents truly did leave." All of the nations slowly turned and stared at Japan. "Wait…what?" He covered his mouth and started to mildly freak out.

"Doitsu, where are our accents?" Italy exclaimed.

Haruhi recognized the first word in Italy's sentence. "Why did he call him Germany?" She inquired.

"Oh, it's only a nickname." China covered. He then blinked, the absence of "aru" feeling awkward.

Unfortunately, being the oblivious nation that he was, America, not hearing China's response, gave one of his own. "Well, what kind of nation doesn't go by their name?" All of the Allies whacked the back of his head. Well, except Russia, he just kol'ed. Honey blinked.

"Why did he say nation?" he asked.

"Well," England sighed, giving up hope that their secret could remain undiscovered, "we are the personifications of the Axis Powers, Allied Forces, and a bunch of other countries in the world. Hence the confusion over the dropped accents; our accents are one of the things that reflects the country we represent."

"Oh. So, who's who?"

"I'M THE HERO!" came from across the room.

"Shut up America!" England yelled back. Germany sighed.

"Ask as you walk around, the chaos is returning." Honey nodded, smiling. Germany realized something "Wait, why are you children here, anyway?"

"Tamaki wanted to see the Northern Lights and penguins," Kyoya answered. Canada walked up to Tamaki.

"There are no penguins here." Tamaki didn't hear him.

"Who are you?" asked Kumajirou.

"I'm Canada."

"There are no penguins in the Arctic," Russia explained. Naturally, Tamaki emo-cornered. From his emo-corner, he looked up at Kyoya with puppy-dog eyes and stammered, "But-but Kyoya, you-you-you-penguins!"

Kyoya looked up from his black notebook at Tamaki with an amused look and said, "Tamaki, I told you no such thing."

~CUE KYOYA FLASHBACK~

The Host Club was sitting in the "abandoned" music room three at Ouran Academy. Honey was napping, Mori watching Honey, Haruhi was doing her math homework, Kyoya was writing (as usual) in his black notebook, and the twins were…. playing tic-tac-toe? Anyway….

Tamaki was sitting in a chair, looking out the window, bored because he had no idea what he was going to waste his summer doing. He wanted a Host Club field trip again (Meaning he did not want to leave Haruhi…). Suddenly, he bolted upright in his chair and leapt out of it, running over to the table where Kyoya was sitting, all alone, set off from the world (his normal).

"Mommy, I have the perfect idea for a family vacation. Including the neighbors!" Tamaki cried. (AN: Tamaki's "family setting" is: Kyoya; mom, Tamaki; dad, Haruhi; daughter, Hikaru and Kaoru; sons, Honey and Mori; cousins/ neighbors.)

"Oh really, Daddy? Where might this trip be?" Kyoya asked, not looking up. _And how much is it going to cost THIS time?_

"The Arctic Circle!" Tamaki cried happily.

Kyoya looked up at Tamaki. He made the mistake of asking, "And _why_ would the Host Club be taking their _summer_ vacation in the _Arctic_ Circle?"

"Because it is the PERFECT place to be! I mean, it has the Northern Lights, and PENGUINS!" Tamaki cried loudly.

"Boss, are you TRYING to wake up Honey?" Hikaru and Kaoru asked simultaneously, making Tamaki quiet down a decibel.

"But Tamaki, the Aurora Borealis, aka the Northern Lights, are only in the winter, and besides, there are no-" he suddenly sighed loudly, pushing his glasses up tiredly. "Oh, alright. To the Arctic we shall go."

~END KYOYA FLASHBACK~

"So, no, there are no penguins in the Arctic." Tamaki just sat in his emo-corner.

"Well, the awesome me will-"

"Do nothing," Germany interjected. "Stay here, and don't cause trouble. (Ironically, Germany is the younger brother.)

"But-"

"No. Or I will send Russia after you." Prussia (if you couldn't tell…) went and emo-cornered next to Tamaki. They had a short discussion.

"The awesome me has a new friend for our trio!" France sighed.

"Well, now we're not a trio anymore."

"Ahem, accents?" England interjected.

"Allow me to break the fourth wall," Kyoya began (It happens in Hetalia. It's legit). "The authors were simply tired of attempting to write your accents but will bring back a select few next chapter." The countries sighed and muttered amongst themselves. "Well Tamaki, if there are no penguins and no Northern Lights, we need to go." The host club regrouped back by the door. "Thank you for not kicking us out," Kyoya said as they left.

The conference room was silent for a minute or two.

"Ouran…high school?" Japan broke to silence.

"Can we visit? Please?" America nearly begged. France shrugged.

"I guess, if we ever go to Japan…"


	2. Chapter 2

Hetalia Meets the Ouran Host Club: Chapter 2

-World Meeting: Tokyo, a month or so later (who cares?)-

"Now what?"

* * *

The twins were carefully selecting costumes for the Host club. "How about…this?"

"No," Haruhi replied.

"This?"

"No."

"This?"

"…it's still no." Haruhi spotted a Japan costume and grabbed it. "I'll wear this." Then she ran off to change.

Tamaki twirled around to face the twins, his cloak (A/N: Like France. "This is war! And you're wearing a cape!" …Sorry, had to) billowing out around him. "Where's Haruhi?"

"She went to go dress up…as Japan."

"Why didn't she wear…_**this**_?" he said, whipping out a Seychelles outfit. The twins blinked and looked at each other.

"Well, that's anticlimactic," they said in unison. Tamaki looked down, shocked, and threw the outfit back into the large box of costumes.

[Who's who:

Tamaki=France

Haruhi=Japan

Kyoya=Germany

Hikaru=Romano

Kaoru=Italy

Honey=Finland

Mori=Sweden]

Tamaki continued twirling…twirling…twirling, so interested by his cloak that he CRASHED into a wall.

"You ok, Boss?" Hikaru and Kaoru asked, not really caring. They started to laugh.

* * *

The former Axis and Allies stood in front of Ouran Academy, torn between gawking at the size of the building or the color of it. After the initial shock, they all turned to Japan.

A flash of annoyance crossed his eyes. "I did not build this school, you know."

England smirked. "Okay, chap."

Japan was very tempted to scowl. He decided to think about why they were here in the first place.

-Cue Japan flashback-

"Guys, we should totally visit Ouran Academy!" America cried.

"I don't think it's a good idea," Germany began,

"But it could be interesting, da?" Russia finished.

"Yeah!" America cheered. "I'll get the uniforms so we can sneak in! I'm the hero!" He ran out the door.

Japan turned to the other nations. "America-kun and I will get the uniforms for us then. We will meet up later." He left, going after America, leaving the other nations to wander around until the two returned with the uniforms.

-End Japan flashback-

"Hey, Japan, America," China started, interrupting Japan's train of thought, "How did you get the uniforms for the school in the first place, aru? I thought they only gave them to students?"

Japan's face remained neutral, but America began to look nervous. "Uhh…let's…not talk about that…"

"What are you saying, you twit! Don't tell me that you actually robbed a store or something!" England yelled.

"Uhh, well…hey, what are we waiting for? Let's go in!" America made a mad dash for the entrance.

"Don't ignore me, git!" England ran after him, France following. Everyone else watched them leave.

"Gee, I wonder how America actually got the uniforms," Russia wondered.

"Well, Su-san and I bought ours."

The remaining six (no, seven, Canada's there) turned to see Sweden and Finland decked out in matching uniforms. Germany raised an eyebrow. "So you decided to accompany us?"

Sweden nodded.

"Ve~, let's go!" Italy ran for the entrance.

"Italy!" Germany ran after him, Romano chasing them both, swearing. Entering Ouran turned into a race, and they all disappeared into the Academy.

* * *

Germany walked down the halls, watching Italy flit from one end to the other, admiring the décor. After everyone entered the enormous building, they quickly became separated from each other. Germany couldn't decide if he was lucky or unlucky that he managed to keep Italy in sight (and lose Romano in the process).

"Doitsu~ look at this! And this! And this! And this! And this! And this! And this!"

'Unlucky. Definitely unlucky.'

As Italy pulled Germany toward another delicate vase sitting on a pillar, a laugh rang through the air. Italy perked up and slipped away while Germany was occupied with examining it with a surprising amount of interest.

"Ohonhonhonhon…" "Ve~ Big Brother France, where are we going?"

Germany snapped upright and frantically looked around.

"ITALY!"

Germany bolted down the hallway, eyes peeled for the Italian's signature hair curl.

* * *

France dragged Italy along, trying to keep away from Germany. Soon they ran into the large double doors of the 'abandoned' Music Room #3.

"Ve~, what's in here?" Italy tried to push the doors open, but they barely budged. France, thinking that inside would be a good place to hide, helped Italy push the doors wide open.

A multitude of rose petals flew out and brushed their faces (enough so that 'poor' Sealand was buried. Seriously, how did he get here? Someone send him home. NOW!).

"Welcome." (A/N: If you haven't seen this before, go find an episode and watch it, like episode 1). The two nations walked in, awed. All of the princesses in the room turned to see the newcomers, then promptly squealed and crowded around them, talking amongst themselves about the handsome, and cute, men.

The crowd suddenly parted, revealing a smiling Tamaki. "Hey, Francis!"

France beamed. "Mon ami! Nice clothes!" He then dramatically ripped his school uniform off to reveal the exact military uniform Tamaki was wearing.

Tamaki laughed. "Same to you!" The Frenchmen began chatting like old friends.

Italy, on the other hand, spotted Hikaru and Kaoru. "Ve~, ciao!" He ran up to the twins and glomped them both at the same time, sending the three of them to the ground. The girls in the room squealed again.

"Ciao?" the twins asked, confused.

Italy's smile never faltered. "Ve~ it means 'hello' in Italian!"

'It's because he's Italy, isn't it,' the two thought simultaneously. "Hey…Feliciano," Hikaru began, almost forgetting they had to use Italy's human name, "What does 'fratello' mean?" Kaoru finished.

"It means 'brother' in Italian, ve~"

"Ohhh. And what does 've' mean?"

Italy paused for a moment, then shrugged. The twins sweatdropped. 'Not what I was expecting…'

Germany walked into the music room, also in awe of what was before him. Not only were there a large amount of females (which admittedly made him nervous) there were the members of Ouran Host Club, who were dressed like some of his…acquaintances. Italy spotted Germany and ran to hug him, resulting in yet another fangirl squeal (which put Germany on edge even more).

Out of the blue, Germany muttered, "I wonder how Austria is doing."

"Well, why don't you ask him? He's over there." Italy gestured to the piano in the back of the room before running back to his new friends, the twins, to babble on to them about various Italian things. Sure enough, Austria was playing a beautiful piano piece on the grand piano. Everyone did a double take, even Kyoya. Germany…

"How did I not see him?! Again?!" Germany yelled. Everyone turned to look at him. Germany started to blush.

"Er…sorry?"

The female population let out a squeal for the fourth time. But this time, it was **loud**. Louder than all the previous episodes by a large margin. At once they ran to Germany and surrounded him, talking a mile per minute.

"Your voice is so deep!"

"How does your hair stay like that?"

"Do you work out?"

Germany was absolutely frozen. He couldn't move any of his limbs, he couldn't talk, he couldn't react to anything. His brain just completely shut down, he was that overwhelmed by the women surrounding him. Which, if you look at it, is very understandable, since if someone who isn't very social at all in the first place suddenly having a couple dozen girls fussing over him all at once, wouldn't that be an extremely radical change?

Hikaru and Kaoru were trying their hardest not to laugh hysterically at Germany's face, which could give one of Spain or Romano's best tomatoes a run for its money, and so was most of the other hosts. Italy and France were just beaming. Even Kyoya and the ever-stoic Mori cracked a smile. Austria smirked as well, and just kept on playing.

All of a sudden, the other countries barged in, all drawn to the room by the piano music, Germany's loud yelling, and the shrieks of the girls. As soon as they witnessed Germany's dilemma, they too were in the same predicament as the twins. Japan smiled as he brought out his camera and started taking pictures. Eventually, America and (surprisingly) Romano couldn't hold it in anymore and their laughter filled the air. The other nations started to chuckle as well (except for Sweden, he just let a small smile peek through his stoic face), and soon most of the Host Club members joined in, even Haruhi.

"HAHAHAHA! Hey dudes! Germany's got fangirls!" America's laughter was obviously the loudest, and the girls' attention was drawn from the German to the other men standing near the entrance (If you're wondering, more specifically the Briton, the Russian, the Japanese man, the American, and the Swede). The princesses dispersed to talk to the other nations, reducing the amount of bodies around Germany to three or four yellow-clad students. Germany staggered over to Kyoya (who he noted was dressed in an exact copy of Germany's military uniform…interesting) and collapsed next to where he sat.

Kyoya stopped jotting down finances long enough to smirk at Germany. Germany scowled and looked away. Kyoya took out a pocket notebook, looked around the room at the nations (observing how they all absorbed the attention of the Host Club princesses with relative ease), and jotted some notes down in it. He then went back to working on the Host Club's finances.

Germany glanced wearily at the four girls eying him with interest. He swallowed. "Er…Kyoya?"

Kyoya looked up. "What, Ludwig?" he asked, slightly annoyed.

"Do you…need any help?"

Kyoya's annoyance faded as he watched Germany's eyes flicker from him to the girls across the room and back to him. 'He just needs a distraction,' Kyoya realized. He didn't know why he felt such sympathy towards Germany. Perhaps it was because he wanted them to be…friends? Kyoya shook the thought out of his head. He handed Germany some bills and a piece of paper with a grid on it, telling Germany to write the dollar totals down on the paper based on month, and add them up. A simple job. But Germany looked grateful. Soon the two were able to start a light conversation about their peers, like last time they met.

Japan looked around the room and watched his fellow nations interact with the Host Club.

He watched as Kyoya and Germany did finances whilst chatting.

He spotted Tamaki and France teaming up to woo the ladies that still surrounded them.

He glanced over to his right and saw Mori, Sweden, Honey, and Finland sitting at a table eating cake while chatting, and there was a ring of girls around them.

He saw Romano and Hikaru shaking hands, possibly making up after the fight they had last time they met. Kaoru and Italy were encouraging them and soon dragged them into a four-way conversation.

Haruhi walked up to Japan with a tea tray in her hands. Japan turned to look at her. She gestured with her head at the scenes playing before them. "So, what do you think?"

Japan nervously smiled. "Uh…well… it's a bit _overwhelming_, to say the least."

Haruhi nodded. "Yeah, surprisingly you get used to it."

"I can believe that."

Silence fell between them. Haruhi lifted the tray up a little. "Do you want to help me?"

"Well, it would be impolite for me to refuse, so yes, I would," Japan responded, cocking his head. He took the tray from Haruhi's hands. "What do I do with it?"

Haruhi blinked, then told Japan what he needed to do. After that was done, they settled into a relatively light conversation.

* * *

Pretty soon, the Host Club hours were over and the customers reluctantly left. Italy waved them goodbye, and Kaoru chuckled at his actions.

"Well that went well," America commented. Several countries murmured their agreement. Canada did too, although no one noticed him (But he was happy anyway. Some of the pretty ladies actually saw him!).

"Che. Great. So what the hell do we do now?" Romano complained (not that he would admit it)

Tamaki raised a fist. "We should go out to a (commoner) restaurant and eat! Haruhi, my daughter, direct us to your favorite one!"

Haruhi rolled her eyes. "I don't _have_ a favorite restaurant."

As Tamaki began to grow mushrooms in his emo-corner, and France tried to talk him out of said corner, Haruhi turned to the others. "Got any ideas?"

"We could make the food ourselves," Sweden suggested. Mori nodded in agreement.

"But what should we make?" Honey wondered.

Italy raised his hand and waved it around. "Ooh, ooh! Me, me! Let me go!"

The Host Club sweatdropped. "Okay," Haruhi said, "I pick you Italy."

Italy put his hand down and grinned. "Okay, um…"

Everyone leaned in closer, curious to what the nation had to suggest.

"PASTAAAAAAAA~!"

The nations facepalmed, the Host Club face faulted.


End file.
